The Kettle Black
Time Out's verdict, written weeks after it opened and still the sharpest thing anyone has said about it: "a meal here may leave you wanting some substance to go with all that style."
Why go
Because the coffee was the serious half. Sarah Lewis's 2014 review put an Ethiopian Hunkute through a V60 on Small Batch beans and called the result light and bright with citrus and no bitterness, alongside espresso from a Five Senses house blend (Time Out). Twelve years later Concrete Playground ranks the room fourteenth for breakfast in Melbourne on the strength of the chilli scrambled eggs (Concrete Playground). The building is a Victorian terrace stitched to the ground floor of an apartment block, done by Kestie Lane and Hana Hakim of Studio You Me, and it is still the reason half the tables are full. One thing almost every write-up gets wrong: Nathan Toleman's Mulberry Group opened this with Top Paddock and Higher Ground and sold all three to the Darling Group in November 2018 (Broadsheet).
Order this / avoid
- Order: the chilli scrambled eggs, with sambal and prawns if the season has them. The ricotta hotcake if you want the famous one. Filter over a milk drink, because that is where the buying shows.
- Avoid: turning up after 4pm, when it shuts every day of the week, and expecting volume for the money. The crayfish roll was called petite for its price in 2014 and prices have moved since.
What locals & experts say
- Sarah Lewis, Time Out, three stars out of five, June 2014:
She's polished, knows how to present herself, and will look fab in your social media feed, but a meal here may leave you wanting some substance to go with all that style.
1 That is the only starred review this venue has, and it was written under the previous owners. - Andrew Zuccala, Concrete Playground, ranking Melbourne breakfast in May 2026, at number 14:
The chilli scrambled eggs are some of the best in town, and depending on the season, may be adorned with fragrant sambal and prawns.
2 - Nathan Toleman, on selling it, to Broadsheet in November 2018:
It feels like the end of an era. It's time to leave that legacy and start a new one.
3 - What is missing: no critic has assessed the kitchen under Darling Group ownership, which is now most of its life, and no Melbourne chef in the 74-pick corpus names it.
Good to know
- Where: 50 Albert Road, South Melbourne, walkable from South Wharf and the MCEC.
- Timing: Monday to Friday 7am to 4pm, Saturday and Sunday 8am to 4pm.
- Booking: tables can be booked through the venue's site, and there is a coffee cart out front for the queue that forms anyway.
- Operator: Darling Group since November 2018, alongside Darling Cafe, Bambu and Dundas and Faussett.
- Also on the menu, per Urban List: King Island crayfish rolls, polenta porridge with burnt maple, and Cape Grim beef with house-made mustard on a black ash bun.
- Safety: Victoria publishes no venue hygiene rating. Safe Food Victoria's s.53D register of convictions, fifteen entries at its 21 July 2026 update, does not list this venue.7
Verdict
could-visit — Sarah Lewis reviewed this weeks after it opened and gave it three out of five with a line that has aged into the definitive read: it is polished, it presents well, it looks good in a feed, and a meal here can leave you wanting substance to go with the style. Twelve years on, Concrete Playground ranks it fourteenth for breakfast in Melbourne and singles out the chilli scrambled eggs, so the kitchen is still landing. The coffee was the serious half from the start, an Ethiopian Hunkute through a V60 alongside a Five Senses house blend on espresso, though both of those specs date from 2014 and nobody has published what is in the hopper since. The thing the reputation gets wrong is the ownership: Nathan Toleman's Mulberry Group opened it with Top Paddock and Higher Ground and sold all three to the Darling Group in November 2018, and press still files it under Top Paddock eight years later. Go for breakfast before a day at the MCEC, take the filter, and know you are paying showpiece prices for it.